On Men And Women

I have written this article on the request of a close friend. She asked me if men and women are equal and if not, then why are we trying to make them?
(This article is a mixture of socio-politics, spirituality, and metaphysics).

I get where she is coming from but the words of her question could be better.

The fact is men and women are equal in their capabilities but they are not the same.

In the words of Elliott Hulse, “We are equally beautiful but beautifully different”.

In my opinion, movements like feminism and anti-feminism rise when the power balance gets skewed too much. In the previous century, feminism gained a lot of momentum and it has worked towards the betterment of women by working for their freedom and equal wages. It was good in the beginning but every good thing is subject to eventual devolution(cycle of life).

Somewhere along the line, the movement lost its true purpose and shifted its focus against men.

The problem that I have with political movements like this is that they don’t have space for the individual. They all want to mold you into a specific structure. That is in their best interests, not particularly yours.

How do they do this?

They create shame in you for your own nature and then they offer salvation for it. Much like the software security companies creating the viruses for which they offer
anti-viruses. I will touch on shame in a later post.
For now, I want to point out my biggest issue with feminism (as it is today).

It shames men for being masculine and more importantly it shames women for being feminine.

We should stop defining people in binary terms. It is a common spiritual belief that every human being has both, masculine and feminine traits. Nobody is purely masculine or purely feminine all the time. Of course, there are such moments, but they are just that, moments. In our day to day lives, we move around in the masculine/feminine spectrum. If people are behaving according to their true nature (a rarity), then men tend to have a masculine nature and women tend to have a feminine nature. This is because we are designed that way, our bodies are designed that way. We have different bodies with different body chemistries. We are naturally inclined towards different things. I’ll get to the masculine and feminine nature in a little while.

You can be a feminine man or a masculine woman, or any combination in between. Stay true to what is true for you. You use both of these natures when you need it.
Material success (or rather competitive success) requires you to channel your masculine nature. I don’t care if you are a man or a woman, if you are in any sort of leadership position you have channeled your masculine nature. On the other hand, if you have been caring/loving to someone, something or even some cause, you have channeled your feminine nature.

Now on to the masculine and feminine nature. This is the spiritual/metaphysical part. Even if you are not inclined towards those areas, I invite you to read the following section for gaining new perspective.

The masculine nature. We think that the masculine man is the brash, macho guy who drinks alcohol, wears leather jackets and rides motorcycles or some variation of this.
Completely wrong. Our disillusionment is majorly the fault of societal conditioning in the form of movies, TV shows, news, music, marketing and what not.

The masculine nature is of the observer, of stillness, of clarity, of assertiveness. The masculine nature is like a sword which cuts through all abstractions, straight
to the truth of the matter. Assertiveness does not mean being loud or abusive. Assertiveness just means to know what one wants and move towards it with clarity and
purpose. The masculine represents rigidity, discipline, and structure; at the same time, it is not abrasive. There is an edge to it. This masculine edge is required for the clarity and purpose which are inherent to the masculine nature.

On the other hand, the feminine nature is of creation. If the masculine is rigid, then the feminine being its polar opposite is fluid. It is always in motion, it can not remain fixed. A whirlwind of emotions. Since it represents creation, the feminine is accordingly a nurturing, loving, healing, accepting energy. The feminine is also much more expressive than the masculine. This is why women find it easier to express their emotions while men struggle with the same.

A good example of both the natures is a river with its banks. The river represents the flowing feminine while the masculine banks represent the structure that stop the river from flooding everywhere.

It should be fairly obvious to you now that we all need a balance of these energies on an individual level as well as on a societal level. A highly masculine society runs the risk of becoming a tyranny while a highly feminine society runs the risk of running itself into the ground because it can not efficiently handle its resources.

None of these natures is better than the other, they are just what they are and they should be appreciated for what they are. There is no need for one to bash the other.

The feminine requires the grounding of the masculine and the masculine requires the love and support of the feminine.

A truly successful person lives a balanced life in accordance with his/her true nature. And accordingly, a truly successful society maintains a balance between the two.

Now, I’m not completely free of my shame as of yet but I’m on that path. You should be on your own path too, if you have not started as of yet, stop waiting for utopia.

Walk on the path to your freedom where you be who you are unapologetically with complete ownership and responsibility.

Till next time,
VR.

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On Being Cool

Being cool. Such an important topic for most of the young generation of our days. Everybody wants to be cool, to be the guy/gal that everyone looks up to. But how does one be cool.

Such an important topic for most of the young generation of our days. Everybody wants to be cool, to be the guy/gal that everyone looks up to. But how does one be cool.
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t become cool by following the latest fashion trends or being in line with other popular choices regarding various aspects of your life. Those are very superficial things and if you don’t have your core handled they’ll increase your insecurities.

From a physics point of view, warm things have high energy and things have high energy when they are in rapid motion. So, cool things have lower energy and lower motion, meaning that when it comes to humans, they are more grounded.

That’s it. For being cool, you have to be grounded.

You gain energy and get scattered all over the place when you are in a constant struggle with yourself. When you are schizophrenic, you have different parts of you struggling against each other. You have certain desires and you are ashamed of those desires. It is in these moments that you have to be decisive. Either act on those desires or take a stand against them and banish them from your life without any shame. You should not choose shame as a means of banishing desires, you remove certain desires from your life because you decide that in the greater scheme of your life they will be futile or worse, detrimental.

You remove the internal struggles of your personality with acceptance. You accept your strengths as well as your weaknesses. You accept your greatest moments as well as the moments of your life for which you wish you had the memory device from Men In Black. Remember this, you are not a robot. You are a human and humans are entitled to make mistakes. That is how we learn. We experiment, get positive or negative results and then we course correct accordingly.

All of your life is basically a course correction.

You rarely get where you want to go in the first attempt. Every day, people are just making things work somehow. Don’t get me wrong, people have plans, and those plans often work, but not without some measure of adaptation.

So, back to being cool.

How do you do it?

First, do this mentally. Recognise the internal struggles, as many as you can and resolve them with your decisiveness and your ability to let go. You don’t have to explain your desires to anyone else but you do have to bear the consequences(both good and bad) whatever they may be if you choose to act on them.

Secondly and more importantly, practice Osho’s Dynamic Meditation or Elliott Hulse’s Bioenergetic routine. Whenever you seek to create changes in your life, make sure they are not just on a cerebral level, involve your body wherever you can. You don’t want to be caught up in your head where your struggles live. These practices will bring your awareness in your body and ground your energy.

There you go, my thoughts on being cool. With time, this blog will evolve and my articles will get more refined (course correction ;P). Till then, bear with me and enjoy our journey.

By the way, I also mentioned two of my mentors, Osho and Elliott Hulse. I highly recommend you check them out.

Your man

-Vik