On Men And Women

I have written this article on the request of a close friend. She asked me if men and women are equal and if not, then why are we trying to make them?
(This article is a mixture of socio-politics, spirituality, and metaphysics).

I get where she is coming from but the words of her question could be better.

The fact is men and women are equal in their capabilities but they are not the same.

In the words of Elliott Hulse, “We are equally beautiful but beautifully different”.

In my opinion, movements like feminism and anti-feminism rise when the power balance gets skewed too much. In the previous century, feminism gained a lot of momentum and it has worked towards the betterment of women by working for their freedom and equal wages. It was good in the beginning but every good thing is subject to eventual devolution(cycle of life).

Somewhere along the line, the movement lost its true purpose and shifted its focus against men.

The problem that I have with political movements like this is that they don’t have space for the individual. They all want to mold you into a specific structure. That is in their best interests, not particularly yours.

How do they do this?

They create shame in you for your own nature and then they offer salvation for it. Much like the software security companies creating the viruses for which they offer
anti-viruses. I will touch on shame in a later post.
For now, I want to point out my biggest issue with feminism (as it is today).

It shames men for being masculine and more importantly it shames women for being feminine.

We should stop defining people in binary terms. It is a common spiritual belief that every human being has both, masculine and feminine traits. Nobody is purely masculine or purely feminine all the time. Of course, there are such moments, but they are just that, moments. In our day to day lives, we move around in the masculine/feminine spectrum. If people are behaving according to their true nature (a rarity), then men tend to have a masculine nature and women tend to have a feminine nature. This is because we are designed that way, our bodies are designed that way. We have different bodies with different body chemistries. We are naturally inclined towards different things. I’ll get to the masculine and feminine nature in a little while.

You can be a feminine man or a masculine woman, or any combination in between. Stay true to what is true for you. You use both of these natures when you need it.
Material success (or rather competitive success) requires you to channel your masculine nature. I don’t care if you are a man or a woman, if you are in any sort of leadership position you have channeled your masculine nature. On the other hand, if you have been caring/loving to someone, something or even some cause, you have channeled your feminine nature.

Now on to the masculine and feminine nature. This is the spiritual/metaphysical part. Even if you are not inclined towards those areas, I invite you to read the following section for gaining new perspective.

The masculine nature. We think that the masculine man is the brash, macho guy who drinks alcohol, wears leather jackets and rides motorcycles or some variation of this.
Completely wrong. Our disillusionment is majorly the fault of societal conditioning in the form of movies, TV shows, news, music, marketing and what not.

The masculine nature is of the observer, of stillness, of clarity, of assertiveness. The masculine nature is like a sword which cuts through all abstractions, straight
to the truth of the matter. Assertiveness does not mean being loud or abusive. Assertiveness just means to know what one wants and move towards it with clarity and
purpose. The masculine represents rigidity, discipline, and structure; at the same time, it is not abrasive. There is an edge to it. This masculine edge is required for the clarity and purpose which are inherent to the masculine nature.

On the other hand, the feminine nature is of creation. If the masculine is rigid, then the feminine being its polar opposite is fluid. It is always in motion, it can not remain fixed. A whirlwind of emotions. Since it represents creation, the feminine is accordingly a nurturing, loving, healing, accepting energy. The feminine is also much more expressive than the masculine. This is why women find it easier to express their emotions while men struggle with the same.

A good example of both the natures is a river with its banks. The river represents the flowing feminine while the masculine banks represent the structure that stop the river from flooding everywhere.

It should be fairly obvious to you now that we all need a balance of these energies on an individual level as well as on a societal level. A highly masculine society runs the risk of becoming a tyranny while a highly feminine society runs the risk of running itself into the ground because it can not efficiently handle its resources.

None of these natures is better than the other, they are just what they are and they should be appreciated for what they are. There is no need for one to bash the other.

The feminine requires the grounding of the masculine and the masculine requires the love and support of the feminine.

A truly successful person lives a balanced life in accordance with his/her true nature. And accordingly, a truly successful society maintains a balance between the two.

Now, I’m not completely free of my shame as of yet but I’m on that path. You should be on your own path too, if you have not started as of yet, stop waiting for utopia.

Walk on the path to your freedom where you be who you are unapologetically with complete ownership and responsibility.

Till next time,

To Judge or To Not Judge

In my opinion, you should not judge other people. Maintain clarity, but do not judge. See people for who they are, but do not place moral judgments on their way of being. There is some reason for the way they are.

A thief is a thief because he had some reasons. Maybe he was hungry, maybe he just likes the thrill. Whatever may be the reason, there is no need for you to judge people. Believe me, I have judged people, a lot when they didn’t agree with my way of thinking. But now I don’t. I don’t try to suppress my judgments, they are just not there when I am busy living my life.

Don’t judge other people. When you judge other people, you are bound to make those judgments on yourself. Then, you will either qualify those judgments or you won’t. If you
qualify those judgments then you will have pride, and if you don’t, you will have shame. Neither of those is helpful. Both seek to keep you in your head and away from life. Life happens in the here and now; why would you want to be away in your head having imaginary conversations with yourself. You take action, you take pleasure in that action, and then you move on, there is no need for shame or pride.

Everyone is on a very personal journey of their life, just like you. You will never completely understand another human being. You may feel him to a certain degree, possibly, a very high degree but you can’t actually get in their head. And there is no need for that.

I have recently passed a transformation period wherein the distance between me and the society was growing by leaps and bounds every day. I didn’t know who I was or what I stood for. But I did know that I couldn’t relate to the actual people in my life. I found solace in books and that didn’t help with the situation. While the books did give me some sense of belonging they pulled me away from the real world in which I was living. This is true for books that are written on enlightenment. With growing awareness and detachment, I somehow developed a distaste for people who didn’t see the world the way I did. It was all in my head though, I didn’t go about quarreling with them. I fell into the trap that many young meditators fall into when they begin their practice. They don’t have compassion for their fellow humans and they start judging them for their desires and the actions that they take for achieving those desires.

I invite you to take action to move your life in the direction that you want. Along the way, if someone genuinely asks for your help, help them, share your life with them. There is no need for you to try to convert people to your way of thinking, to your principles, just give them invitations and leave the action part to them. What I’m doing here is sharing what works for me in the hopes that lost individuals like me would stumble a little less :).

Don’t judge, live your life, share, stay here and now.

Your man